Incognigo Montoya

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Posts by Incognigo Montoya

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  48

  Corporal punishment

  by Incognigo Montoya in

  1. social
  2. family

  so i just finished watching the latest cedars video on spanking children.

  i like lloyd, and think that overall he does a good job covering issues in his videos.

  but i've gotta disagree with him on this issue, to a point.. i don't agree with beating your children, but i do believe in spanking, when appropriate.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  Having slept on this, and then waking up to new comments, I guess I must clarify a few things. First, my examples were just that. You can substitute an electrical outlet for anything that's going to be painful and potentially cause great bodily harm/injury; touching a hot surface, running out into the street, being mean or aggressive towards a pet. Nature and life can often be unforgiving, and when you go too far, it can be painful. Pain often teaches us not to do something. Imo I would rather my child recieve a short quick (ultimately harmless) pain from me, someone who loves him, than the more painful and lasting effects of a dog bite, a burn, an electric shock, or getting hit by a car...

  I agree with you cofty. Consistency in discipline is a must. Children push boundaries naturally and giving in to that isn't conducive to raising a well behaved child, or future adult. Problem is, all children are different, what works for one child will not always work for another. Some kids are stubborn and even defiant, at times.

  My final thought here is for quite a few of you commenting, you keep referring to beating and hitting. A spanking is not beating or hitting. It is an open hand series of smacks on their bottom or hands, generally 3 or less. Force used appropriate to age and size of child. I am curious, those of you who are in disagreement with spanking; were you spanked as a child, or were you hit, beaten, kicked, punched, or otherwise abused? Do you have children of your own? More than one child? More than two?

  I have 3. Each one different. I am not a perfect parent, but I tried to keep rules simple and just. I learned that what worked with my first child didn't work with the second. The first was easy. The second was much more difficult. At times defiant. The third, easier than the first two. I also learned that what seemed like a big deal with the first two, usually wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it to be, and that was reflected in the way I disciplined my last one. Letting things go that I didn't with the first one or two. That's on me, and my imperfect personality traits. But you learn and you move forward. They are young adults now, good, well adjusted, productive people. So I'm sticking by my original statement; most discipline can be handled without spanking, but there are times when it is warranted and needed.
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  48

  Corporal punishment

  by Incognigo Montoya in

  1. social
  2. family

  so i just finished watching the latest cedars video on spanking children.

  i like lloyd, and think that overall he does a good job covering issues in his videos.

  but i've gotta disagree with him on this issue, to a point.. i don't agree with beating your children, but i do believe in spanking, when appropriate.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  Blondie, adult mistakes carry far greater consequences than a spanking, which is why I believe spanking to be a good disciplinary tool, when implemented properly. Adults are fired from jobs, divorced, thrown in prison, seriously beaten, stabbed, shot, and killed, when they lack self control and respect for others. You know what they say about an ounce of prevention... a spanking now is far less severe than time in the Pen, later.
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  48

  Corporal punishment

  by Incognigo Montoya in

  1. social
  2. family

  so i just finished watching the latest cedars video on spanking children.

  i like lloyd, and think that overall he does a good job covering issues in his videos.

  but i've gotta disagree with him on this issue, to a point.. i don't agree with beating your children, but i do believe in spanking, when appropriate.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  Wow. Seems as though my mindset is not the consensus.

  Let me give you a couple hypotheticals.

  1. A child is about to stick a metal object into a light socket.

  Gonna hurt and could cause, severe trauma, even death.

  2. A child continually acts up towards his sibling, parent, or teacher, and taking away priviledges/grounding does not seem to be getting through.

  3. A child gets into serious trouble, i.e. shoplifting. The consequences to this action can become serious if it's not nipped in the bud, and so, I would argue that if a child displays repeated, unrepentant lying, or theft of sibling or parent property, a good spanking is warranted.

  Basically, I was disciplined, spanked pretty often as a child. But it didn't diminish my love or respect for my parents, as I knew they loved me and they weren't taking their anger out on me, but disciplining me. I didn't really appreciate the discipline until I was much older, as is often the case, but I dont think my parents were in the wrong for spanking me. On the other hand, some of the other punishments I recieved, when i became too old to be spanked, i feel were over the top. Nothing abusive, but punishment far outweighed the crime.

  Anyway. Thanks for your responses. I will spend some time introspectively considering your points and my own views.
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  48

  Corporal punishment

  by Incognigo Montoya in

  1. social
  2. family

  so i just finished watching the latest cedars video on spanking children.

  i like lloyd, and think that overall he does a good job covering issues in his videos.

  but i've gotta disagree with him on this issue, to a point.. i don't agree with beating your children, but i do believe in spanking, when appropriate.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  So I just finished watching the latest Cedars video on spanking children. I like Lloyd, and think that overall he does a good job covering issues in his videos. But I've gotta disagree with him on this issue, to a point.

  I don't agree with beating your children, but I do believe in spanking, when appropriate. Most discipline can be handled without spanking, I believe, but there are times when it is warranted and needed. Also each child is different, and some only respond to (learn from) a spanking, whereas another will respond to (learn from) just a simple look of disapproval from their parent. Leaving bruises or other marks, or worse, is taking it too far, and turns discipline into abuse(flesh is gonna redden when you spank, and I believe this to be acceptable, but nothing more). I also believe that the discipline should hurt the parent as well, and so I only ever used my hand, never a belt, rod, switch, wooden spoon, fly swatter, or other makeshift spanking implement.

  I believe one of the biggest issues with today's society stems from the lack of a proper discipline, including spanking. What do you all think?
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  23

  Parents did you just skip this page ?

  by ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can parents really teach kids from this book, things like this , worded in such a way?.

  i must admit that i never read this book when it was released coz being single n who wants to read a book for kids.

  so never noticed this .

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  Incognigo Montoya

  It's not normal, but there have been times, throughout human history, when a young teenage girl was thought of as marriageable, and was often wed to a much older man. So, it's not unprecedented.

  The goal is to keep kids innocent, while navigating and avoiding the open cesspools of sexual depravity easily stumbled upon via internet and the media.

  I also, as a parent, cringed at some of the content that was discussed in literature and meetings, in regards to sex and destruction of society, via armageddon, and I remember as a child myself, being disturbed, really frightened, by the depictions of destruction. There are definitely things discussed on occasion, and things written about and depicted in the literature, that are not child appropriate. I mean, I wouldn't let my preteen children watch anything sexual or violent, so why would I want to let them sit and hear about it at the kingdom hall? And yet, I did, on occasion, and most witness parents did too... it's crazy how your belief and "faith" in god, will allow you to blindly listen to a religious organization, and shrug off any internal warnings, or gut checks, even when it comes to your children.
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  23

  A little rant about prayer

  by BourneIdentity in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  is god responsible for every good thing that happens in your life?

  i ask this because a brother gave a talk several weeks ago and said that.

  he said when anything positive happens, we must not assume it was by mere coincidence, but we have to have 100% confidence that jehovah cares for us and was involved.. however, people complain that jehovah doesn’t answer their prayers and are told you have to keep asking, you need to show him you really want it bad.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  A few years ago, when I went back, one of the things that had changed (new light) was being very specific in your prayers. The example given at the assembly, no less, was that if you were in need of a car (for service and getting to meetings no doubt) and you came upon one that would suffice, to include details about the car in your prayer. So instead of praying, "Jehovah, I need a car in order to serve you" you should pray, " Jehovah, in my search for a car, to better help me in my service to you, I found a 2013 Honda Accord Wagon, green in color, with only 58,000 miles. It's listed at $6500, which is in my budget. If it's your will, Jehovah, this is the vehicle I need to better help me and my family in service to you..."

  I was shocked. A 2013 Accord Wagon, low miles for $6500!

  But seriously, they said to be that specific in your prayer. My immediate thought was, does the starving kid in africa need to be that specific in order to get fed? Not "Jehovah, I'm starving. Please help me find food." But "Jehovah, I'm starving. I would like a McDonald's happy meal, nuggets, fries, and a milk. Also a toy to play with, in between meetings of course, but not the sparlock wizard, I know you don't like him..."

  When I was growing up, it was, 'Jehovah can read your heart. Give a heartfelt prayer, but don't pray for material things. Asking him for his help. If you're in need of transportation, pray for his guidance, he knows what you need." I'll never forget an experience given at another assembly, when I was young, by a pioneer couple, who needed a car for their ministry. They were struggling financially, and prayed to Jehovah about their need for transportation. After praying they noticed an ad in the classifieds section of a local paper. It was for a Mercedes. The price was very cheap, and the brother thought it was a typo. But he called any way, as well as calling about a few other vehicles. Well, it turns out the price wasn't a typo and the way everything worked out, they acquired the Mercedes, with ease. It must have been Jehovahs will...

  Everyone applauded, of course.

  But what if they had prayed for a Honda Accord wagon instead...?
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  10

  Hollywood and the News Media Meltdowns

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i think it’s pretty comical to see these groups flip out every time they don’t get their way.

  ii’m sure psychiatrists are making tons of money “treating “ these people for hysteria.🥴.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  2 worst are Seth Meyers and Samantha B. Without Trump those two would have no show. All they do is rail against him. Not even funny jokes, just rail.
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  77

  Advice on Disassociating

  by HiddenPimo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.

  i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?

  i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  3rd Gen. Wise words and a wise decision. You lived the point I was making. Good to hear you took time to make the right choice for yourself.

  Dubstepped- I never said your decision was easy, or that I know all the factors in your decision, but step back and look at it objectively; making the decision to sever ties permanently, from a disfunctional family, is not the same as severing ties with family who are loving and close. You have a completely different mindset when you're dealing with family you have a love/hate relationship with, than with family you love dearly.
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  77

  Advice on Disassociating

  by HiddenPimo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.

  i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?

  i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  Dubstepped, I am a fader, and I support his, or anyones choice to DA. No offence, but the only one coming off as butt hurt here, is you. We all know, at least those of us who've listened to your podcast and personal story (yours and your wifes) that you DA, and that was what was best for you both. But you both had disfunctional families. DA didn't cause you to lose anything you weren't prepared to lose. Some of us don't have disfunctional families. Don't wish to risk losing our families, but dont wish to be part of the organization any longer. Again, no offence, but have kids, raise them in the religion, then decide to leave, and tell me how you feel about disassociating, or what if your wife chose to stay in? Would you still have DA? Things become extremely complicated when something you can't bear to lose, becomes a factor, and there's a probable chance you will lose them. I simply wish to caution a person to think long and hard on who they stand to lose when they make that choice. Can they bear that burden? If so, or if they don't have anyone, then go for it! I imagine it's a great freedom.

  Everyone's situation is different. Unfortunately, we were all a part of this organization. We decided to leave. It's not an easy thing to do. The DA option can sound appealing, especially when the feelings from just coming out are raw, and you are angry, finished. But having the foresight, knowing what the repercussions are, down the road, may not be clear at that time. Because DA is so final, taking some time to consider the consequences is advisable. It seems some here are speaking on that, from experience. No one should be ridiculed or berated for their choice, be it, fade, pimo, or disassociating. We all have our reasons. Be supportive.
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  19

  Persecuted for God's Name or Social Retards?

  by Sea Breeze in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was on my cell phone this morning while pumping gas.

  i was having an intense conversation trying to resolve a potential business logistics problem that could affect a lot of people.

  time was of the essence.

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  Incognigo Montoya

  Cell phone use at a gas pump will not ignite fumes. It is a myth, busted by the infamous mythbusters. Yet, the ignorant fools among us continue to perpetuate it as fact...

  Anyway, yes, the persecution complex is great among all witnesses. Any resistance is pressure from satan and intolerance is persecution, regardless of the offensive or invasive tactics practiced by the jw. You obviously weren't humble enough to take a moment, excuse yourself from your phone call, listen to the important message she had to give you, and take her tract. You are unworthy. But then you had the arrogance to brush her off and shew her away. How discouraging it was for her. Undoubtedly satan trying to keep her down.

  I know you stated that your phone call was urgent business, but would it be any different if you were just having a casual conversation with a friend? Interrupting a phone call for any reason, other than emergency, is just rude, in my book. What if she was tied into the meeting, via phone, while pumping gas, and you came over, dressed in a chicken suit, trying to give her coupons and tell her about the great deals for a limited time, at the local deli? I'm sure she'd think that was persecution. Satan, dressed up in a chicken suit, trying to distract her from the meetings...

  but man, crispy chicken strips sound good!😋